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Monday, December 19, 2011

Stuck

Digging brownie bites out of the pan.  WHY are they sticking?  After making this recipe for years...hundreds of times...why now?  Piece together what I can to provide some sort of chocolate and cream cheese nourishment to the staff at the middle school as part of the parent thank you lunch for the staff.  They NEED their chocolate and cream cheese.  Darn store brand non-stick spray.  See if I ever use you again.  And WHY did I not just buy something?  I'm a working mom.  There's an excuse.  No.  Must be able to do it.  ALL.

Digging brownie bites out of the pan.  Picture in my mind last Wednesday night: Kate Reddy* masked desserts purchased from the grocery.  I could do that.  Buy them and make them look homemade?  The next day go to store to buy different nonstick spray.  Pass through the bakery section and see the store version of my homemade wonder...grrr.  Resist buying them. Next batch, for the elementary staff, turned out much nicer.  And the batch for the get together with friends.  And the batch for the 3rd grade party three days later.

And homemade teacher gifts?  Yes, time is plentiful here apparently.  They got done and delivered today.  Amazing, incredible teachers deserve some sacrifice from parents sometimes. And face it...they deserve much more than that!

Do those details matter?  To the people affected, lets hope.  To my kids, yes...they enjoy saying they had a part in creating something for their teachers that they hope their teachers will appreciate and enjoy.

But at the same time all of this is going on...
My sister celebrated a birthday...and has a beautiful, 9 year old, non-verbal, autistic son who we pray daily will talk.
Carlos, Sarah's friend whose family was in a horrible car accident earlier in the month, buried his little brother and welcomed his mom home from the hospital.
A friend said goodbye to her Daddy.  The same day my Daddy would have turned 73.
Another friend celebrated her daughter's 10th birthday.  But her beautiful, bright-eyed, sassy-but-sweet daughter is in heaven and is desperately missed here on Earth.
An old friend is caring for her infant daughter going through chemotherapy.
And we know what the man of this house is dealing with...every day.

Where's the hope in that?  Why are my simple frustrations getting to me so when so many around me are dealing with so much more?

The hope, (thank the Lord!) came over 2000 years ago, wrapped up in a baby boy.  So glad I know that.  So glad to be celebrating His hope this season.  Even if we get stuck along the way.



*One of the books on the reading list that was actually completed this year: "I Don't Know How She Does It" by Allison Pearson.  It was becoming a movie, the title was oh so catching, it had to be read.  (A good book.  Not exactly what I was expecting, but true to life, and the movie didn't get good reviews, so it can wait until Netflix.)  The heroine?  Kate Reddy.

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