Friday, March 22, 2013

A merciful break

Since the last time anything has been written here, many things have taken place.

Happy things, like good grades, fun field trips, and a winning basketball season.  Lots of hugs, proud-Mom moments, and glimpses of spiritual and emotional growth.  Such as: Mom & 3 kids discussing heaven on the way home from church this pain, no tears, no worries, and then..."In heaven, no one will stink up the bathroom. How great is that?" stated the youngest.  A few pounds lost (woohoo!), warmer weather, and the countdown to Opening Day.   Tax return deposit, Spring Break, and green paint on the walls in the laundry room.  Friends, laughs, and all three kids attemptin Uncle Si impersonations (Duck Dynasty, anyone?).

Lest we fail to mention the blah things, such as medical tests with unclear/dark-gray-cloud answers, bilateral deep vein thromboses (again), excruciating and debilitating pain, cries for mercy, unnerving nights of no sleep.  Doubt, fear, and worry.  You'd think by now we'd be used to all this...and as stated in a previous post, it's not like God gives you a choice: "Would you like 'terminal' or 'chronic' attached to 'illness'?"  Um, neither, thank you very much.  As much as I don't want to burden a soul with these health crises we face, nor do I want to belittle their seriousness, I at times desperately want to scream at the top of my lungs when others simply don't understand or choose to disregard the long-term concerns that travel along with these health issues bestowed upon my husband.  Someday I may say "graciously bestowed," as I know there is a purpose, but right now I cannot put those words together.

Glimmers of hope have emerged.  Not bask-yourself-in-glitter-and-stand-out-in-a-spotlight-glimmer, rather a lone Bluebonnet in a green field kind of glimmer.  A merciful break in the pain, brought by amazing doses of pricey medication that leave a just-left-the-dentist numbness throughout the body.  No cure, no treatment for other ailments, but a gracious break in the pain.  My handsome patient has stated what we knew all along: pain uses energy.  An answer to a prayer I can see and hold onto comes with this pain relief.  Thankful for the meds, the job that pays me so I can pay for the meds, and the incredible doctor/friend who showed mercy and compassion when seeing his patient/friend unable to be a part of life.

To say that time is precious seems too cliche. As does mentioning that time passes too quickly.  As has been said in previous posts, just make today count. 

Love God, embrace beauty, and live life to the fullest.

And next time, it'll be more light-hearted....promise.