Thanks for being a life saver

A perk of working day shift in the NICU ten+ years ago was occasionally being greeted by the pharmaceutical reps providing formula for our patients.  One in particular would always greet you with a smile, hand you a lifesaver wint-o-green mint, and say, "thanks for being a life saver".  (That rep happened to be my uncle John, my dad's brother--he's an amazing man!)

We all picture true life savers---people who risk their own lives or use their knowledge and skill to help rescue others.  In a cape, scrubs, BDUs, bunker gear, or uniform, we all have a picture in our minds.  

What about those life savers that don't fit into those pictures?

I mean, really, lately some of the following things have saved my life...

Yes, flavored sparkling water, favorite movie lines, good coffee and scripture have saved me more than once these last few months.  And the friends that will meet for a quick breakfast or ask to take me to lunch.  That sweet conversation is priceless. And even short texts, just letting me know we aren't forgotten, seem to save me some days.   And the three kids at my house---sometimes pulling at my tiredness and patience, but always keeping me going in the end.  They are life savers.  

These are a few of the things that have saved (& continue to save) Chad's life...

That silver claw-looking thing was in the biggest vein in his body catching clots for a month while he was recently off of his normal blood thinner. I did not include the group of people who helped him the night I got a call from the hospital saying "Mrs. Berg, we had to call a rapid response team on your husband...needs intervention...(insert Charlie Brown teacher voice here)...he's okay now but..."

He continues to have good days, followed by not-so-good.  He's finally beginning to be able to start PT in the simplest of forms, which is great although he still has a long way to go.  And I can't help but tell you that all of this has stirred up all of his autoimmune responses/diseases.  

Thankful for all of those "life savers" that are a part of his care.

Most importantly, this is our one true life saver.  Trust me. And know why.  

Never alone

Update, if interested.

Chad remains in the hospital.  He has had a rough couple of weeks.  He is showing some improvement today.  The doctor even said the "H" word as a possibility this weekend. 

A short synopsis, as there have been some questions as how we got here:

It has been two weeks since Chad's initial day surgery on his R knee. 

The Monday after the first surgery an unknown event occurred and he bled into the joint, filling the knee capsule with blood, which formed huge clots(think raspberry jam).  Since he is on angicoagulants he bled a lot.  This caused excrutiating pain as he continued to bleed, but the blood had no where to go.

Tuesday night/Wednesday morning he was admitted to the hospital for pain management and orthopedic observation.  

Friday he had a venous filter  placed and then had surgery to remove the clots and blood in his knee.  

He developed more complications throughout Memorial Day weekend and early this week.  

Wednesday day and night were very rough.  

Yesterday and today he has shown improvement and pain has been less. 

Thank you for continued prayers and offers of help with the kids.  They are resilient, great kids.  If you find them on your doorstep, though, please take them in for awhile.  :)

Since Chad has dealt with chronic illness over the last 11 years he has never stayed in the hospital this long. We know we aren't ever forgotten or alone, and are held in mighty hands.
Never alone...listen. 
 

Dear Healthcare Provider

Written as a mom of three active kids, the daughter of a precious aging mom, and the wife of a determined man who happens to suffer greatly from chronic health problems.

Dear Healthcare Provider,

Thank you for the choice you made to care for others by using your knowlege and skill and implementing advances in science and the health care industry.  You have a direct impact on people and their families.

From the standpoint of a wife desperate to advocate for the health care of her husband, I'd like to remind you of a few things.  Note, this is a reminder to myself as well, as I am a health care professional.

1)  Your patients are not their diagnoses.  They are people.  Living, breathing humans who have a place in the world.  They have a name, a family, a circle of influence. Your patients are NOT "the lap/chole in room 522" or "the laboring mom in room 10."  They are more than "just another knee tap"" and "just another tube feed," or God forbid "that guy who is back AGAIN." Your patient is someone's brother, wife, sister, son, daddy, friend, coworker.  They might sit next to your child at school or might fix your coffee at the coffee shop.   Treat them like you would treat your own.

2)  Please take the time to listen.  Beyond all the government and institutional restraints placed on you as a provider, listen to your patient.  For instance, if your phone rings, use courtesy and excuse yourself as you answer it.  Don't ignore the person who is right in front of you.

3)  Health Care.  Don't forget the "care" portion of the term.  Care for the entire person, no matter what department you represent.  Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health work together to make a whole healthy person.

4)  Remember why you are here.  You've been given a unique opportunity to have influence in a life---many times life-changing influence.  Most of you took an oath which included "helping your fellow man".   No where did it state "I need to show others how much better I am than them."

There's a story of a doctor who passed away.  At the funeral home, a man scraggly in appearance, smell of alcohol on his breath, sweaty and unkept, entered the room and walked up to the casket of the good doctor.  The family, not knowing the man, sent a family member to approach the man and itroduce himself.   The worn, dirty man told the family of how the doctor had seen him a lot, even saving his life once.  He made the comment that he always treated him well, with respect, no matter what shape he was in.  "Had to come say bye to my friend," the man  said.

Please consider these thoughts as you do your work to take care of others.

Sincerely,
C. Berg, RN, BSN

This is not that day

Some day I will write a funny post.  With all the creative one-liners and things to make real life sound hilarious.  

This is not that day.

Many have asked how Chads surgery went.  After his injury in early March, hours of doctor's visits, and physical therapy, he had surgery Friday.  A rather simple procedure meant to correct the problem for a few more years until more drastic surgery is most likely needed.  As you know, his body doesn't like to cooperate.  He needed much more anesthesia than his doctor usually likes to use.  

Let's insert here that after surgery Friday, Seth had a baseball game Saturday and one Sunday. Let's also interject that between the two ball games he had his 8th grade dance.  That he asked a sweet-friend-who-happens-to-be-a-girl to.  That he had a blast at.  And now you are wondering "How do you has a kid that old?".  I do. And he's a great kid.  

Things have gone relatively well for Chad since the surgery.  Other than some tendinitis in his wrist, which was helped by his pcp, he's been ok.  

Until last night.  

He's now on hour 24 of being up with horrible, overwhelming pain.  Bleeding into his knee joint.  A torturous afternoon of procedures and of different departments playing "you take care of him".  We ended up with him having a torturous time in the ER.  After being home less than two hours, he's now on his way back.  

Please pray for pain relief.  For rest.  For compassion and insight for the doctors.  For my kids tender hearts that have had to see and experience their dad endure so much.  That I can be the momma they need. 

We are blessed.  With family and friends willing to help.  With coworkers and friends providing food and help with kids.  

What I want more than anything is prayers of healing.  That the tremendous pain and agony Chad's been experiencing to be relieved.  

We know God has us firmly in His grasp and isn't letting go.  We know this will be used for good.  

We are just a little worn.  

Copy. Paste. Listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9 UfRQUf64U&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Brave

Pulled into the driveway after running an errand after work to see that the grass was being mowed and edged.  Ahh.  Fresh cut grass.  We are blessed that, as a very generous gift, someone has hired a gentleman to come take care of our yard.  (If that didn't happen, we'd get lost in our yard.  Time and health conditions do not lend themselves to a lot of yard work.) As I went into the house, I noticed a fire dept. vehicle from Chad's city pull up behind me.  Not a big red fire truck, an admin SUV.  As I walked in the door, I announced who pulled up behind me.  Chad struggled to get up from his spot on the couch, using his crutches to steady himself and get across the room.  I went back out onto the front porch to greet the firemen, and as I did the exterminator pulled up.  Of course, we saw a few termites swarming over Easter weekend, so we called Roscoe the exterminator to come take a look.  The dog, Dixie, was in the house to give some relief to Greeson, the lawn expert.  Three kids with after-school busy-ness, the lawn man (sent from God), the exterminator, an assistant fire chief and another fire officer, the outside dog inside, the husband struggling to get around...why did I leave work?  :) And also, I need all of you people gone before I leave for my 6 o'clock meeting, thank you.  It was a time I wanted to laugh as well as throw my hands up to say "I'm done."  But not before I reminded Seth to turn on the oven to start dinner.  :)

The lawn looks good.  The termites have not nested in our house.  The dog behaved inside.  Whew.

The discussion with the fire dept. staff, as well as the most recent multi-symptom, multi-system health issues Chad's been experiencing, are leaving feelings of uncertainty.  

Then let's get to work, shall we?  State standardized testing, disruptions to the "normal" schedule, and most pertinent, a student death and the effect it has on every person in the school.  This has left students and adults at the school with a sense of uncertainty on some levels.

I'm beginning to feel like a person standing as a target, being plastered with paintballs. Each one hitting and stinging a little, then splattering paint around that leaves a mess.   I'm covered in colors of paint and am continuing to be pelted with more.  

It would be easy to cower down and accept all of it.  To be stung by the hits and let the bruises hurt me.  But easy isn't in my vocabulary these days!

Every night as I pray with and for my kids, I pray that they will have courage and confidence.  Not just in who they are and what they look like, but that they will have the courage and confidence to rely on the One who makes us brave.  

Stumbled across this song this week and have listened to it at least 50 times.  The link below is to a video of the song.  I haven't really watched that, just listened to the words.  Knowing there's a plan in the midst of uncertainty.  

http://youtu.be/6Hi-VMxT6fc

No matter what chaos surrounds you

Her blue eyes gleamed, her dimples were deep across her freckled cheeks, when she expressed: "Life just goes too fast!"  Those words came from the mouth of my 9-year old last week.  She may just be repeating something she's heard, but my momma heart thinks that it's starting to set in with her, that time does go by quickly.  And I was quick to remind her that's why we have to make every day count.

Some have wondered what has gone on here, and if you haven't, then by all means quit reading.  In last post you get a glimpse of the picture.  A headline would read something like, "Overachiever suffers injury on top of chronic illness," or maybe even "Superman found kryptonite." In short, Chad continues to be unable to move well.  To get from place to place, a wheelchair or crutches are used.  This of course limits his ability to do many daily tasks.  Multiple appointments with physicians and physical therapy, and we still wait to see what surgery he will need in the future.

Chad has lived with chronic illness for years and dealt with debilitating pain.  The pain that just shuts a body down and says "excuse me while I make you curl up into a ball and sleep, no matter what chaos surrounds you." The pain that keeps him from doing what he desires to do in life.  This winter was full of that pain.

This all sounds so gloomy and sad!  Why write about a not-quite-40 guy suffering?  Because of what was at the top.  The kids in our house have to see and deal with a lot.  They've learned so much about compassion and tolerance and patience.  But they are learning to make every day count. 
I pray daily that growing up in this family will profit them with a heart and mind for helping others.

Those kids aren't perfect like their mom (hahahahahahaha).  Their momma is having a harder time learning to make each day count while making the days full of mercy and grace.  Confession: about the girl's bedtime each night, when I have the time to think about all the responsibilities I have and how I'm going to get it all done...it can get pretty gloomy in my mind and heart.  The selfish thoughts of "I didn't sign up for all of this," and wanting to do MY things for me start playing in my head.  Reeling those thoughts back in, I remind myself of the promises that I've been given, and knowing the promises I made as a wife 18 years ago. I can look across the room at my Chad.  He didn't sign up for this.  If he had his way, he'd still be a fire station officer or fire chief somewhere.  He'd be shooting baskets with Seth, jumping on the trampoline with Sarah, and kicking soccer balls with Ella Grace.

There is a plan.  Hard days are extremely difficult to watch and not be able to do much to help.  Better days are still difficult to watch him go through.  Knowing the right amount of help to give or not give is a balancing act that can leave both of us ready to poke each other's eyes out.   But it all comes back down to making every day count.  And trying to do it with mercy and grace.  Because life does go by pretty fast.

And it ALL comes down to this: there's not a second of each day that I'm not in the mercy and grace of His mighty hands.

"There's no space that His love can't reach,
there's no place that we can't find peace,
there's no end to amazing grace...
I am holding on to you,
in the middle of the storm, I am holding on..."
~David Crowder

Numbers of an Overachiever

Day to day stuff is not what usually fills these pages.  However, today is different.

Just over a week ago (8 days, but who's really counting) my husband was injured.  Not a severe injury, but his knees gave way under him, he slipped on some ice, and injured not 1, but both knees.  He has always been an overachiever.  As is Texas weather...that day the weather dropped 50 degrees in 8 hours and brought 1/2 inch of ice.

Numbers since that day:
4 doctor's appointments(5th one today), 2 hours in the MRI, a total of just under 3 ounces of bloody fluid drained off of his 2 knees, not much sleep, trial and error to find a perfect combination of pain meds to help, 3 consults, 3 orthopedic docs, 2 super sore shoulders and elbows, 2 crutches that can't be used due to horrible joint inflammation, 2 bionic knee braces, a number of injections to prevent clotting.
The man never does anything 1/2-way. With his underlying chronic health issues, he continues to confuse doctors and their staff, just in a different specialty now. 

Telling all of this why?  Not for pity, sympathy, or any of that mess.  As my kids like to quote, "Ain't nobody got time fo' that." (Thanks, Sweet Brown)
No.  Because there is another list of numbers that are helping balance those others:
3 happy healthy kids that are growing in strength, determination, and reliance on God, 2 sweet longtime friends who filled our freezer with 4 meals, 1 aunt who provided 2 sweet treats for lunches and such, 1,000s of prayers lifted up on the overachiever's behalf, 24 bedtime talks with my kids sharing what's on their hearts, and the overwhelming reassurance that we have not been left to fend for ourselves.  God's got His eye on us.  And even though we were already feeling worn and exhausted from the storm of chronic illness, He added more to the storm.  But He's still here with us.

The near future holds many more lists of numbers, but I'm certain they will be on both sides of the storm.

And to keep it real, thank God for Spring Break and coffee.  And LaCroix sparkling water with coconut.  And Tiffany's chocolate cake.  And Phineas and Ferb.  And, Opening Day is less than a month away.

"Joy and pain, sun and rain, You never let go." ~ David Crowder Band